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cymruhttps://markmanson.net/toxic-relationship-habits
"When you read an article like this, and you go down the list, and you find yourself mentally counting off, “Yup, does that, does that, does that, does that…”
…There might be a problem.
And I’m going to note here that there is a virtual item number zero on this list, which is “keeping score” in the first place. You don’t have to have both partners doing it for it to be toxic. If EITHER partner is keeping score, that is toxic."
Having thought about the person's comment overnight.... there is a DIFFERENCE between keeping score and "We said that I would get a job and you would take care of the kids but you are playing video games instead of caring for the kids." I'm not trying to rationalize how keeping score is healthy but pointing out that keeping score is DIFFERENT from keeping people accountable for following through on mutual decisions and/or unilateral decisions. "Hey, I'm going to lift weights every morning while I wait for my coffee to be made." "God, would you stop bugging me about the weights on the counter that are dusty because I haven't been lifting them!"
"When you read an article like this, and you go down the list, and you find yourself mentally counting off, “Yup, does that, does that, does that, does that…”
…There might be a problem.
And I’m going to note here that there is a virtual item number zero on this list, which is “keeping score” in the first place. You don’t have to have both partners doing it for it to be toxic. If EITHER partner is keeping score, that is toxic."
Having thought about the person's comment overnight.... there is a DIFFERENCE between keeping score and "We said that I would get a job and you would take care of the kids but you are playing video games instead of caring for the kids." I'm not trying to rationalize how keeping score is healthy but pointing out that keeping score is DIFFERENT from keeping people accountable for following through on mutual decisions and/or unilateral decisions. "Hey, I'm going to lift weights every morning while I wait for my coffee to be made." "God, would you stop bugging me about the weights on the counter that are dusty because I haven't been lifting them!"
